One of the questions I get asked the most as a personal stylist is: “How do I find my personal style?”
It’s something so many people struggle with, not because they lack taste or confidence, but because they’ve never been shown how to tune into themselves instead of trends and what we see on social media.
Over the years, I’ve worked with so many women who felt disconnected from their wardrobes, stuck in a cycle of buying things they didn’t wear, or unsure how to dress in a way that felt truly them. The good news? Finding your personal style is absolutely possible, and it’s easier than you think once you know what to look for.
Here are five steps I use with my clients to help them uncover and define their own unique style so they can stop second-guessing their outfits and start feeling confident every single day.
1. Get Clear on How You Want to Feel
Before we talk clothes, we need to talk you. Personal style isn’t about wearing what’s “in”, it’s about wearing what aligns with your energy, lifestyle, and identity.
When I work with clients, I always ask:
“How do you want your clothes to make you feel?”
Stylish? Effortless? Feminine? Strong? Put together but relaxed?
Your answer becomes the foundation of your style. Try writing down 3–5 words that describe the feeling you want your wardrobe to give you, not just how it looks. Allison Bornstein created the three word method which is a super helpful way to define your style, so I recommend looking into her method and going from there.
2. What Do You Actually Wear?
This one’s simple but powerful, and it’s where most people go wrong (including myself for many, many years).
Instead of building your wardrobe around what you wish you wore, start by being really honest about what you actually reach for day-to-day. I see so many wardrobes filled with “aspirational” pieces, the statement dress that’s never been worn, the blazer that doesn’t suit your lifestyle, or the heels you keep hoping you’ll suddenly feel like wearing.
Ask yourself:
What do I wear most days?
What makes me feel good and comfortable?
What sits there, untouched?
This awareness is key. Once you start dressing for your real life and not your fantasy one, everything starts to fall into place. I love the idea of wearing blazers and investing in expensive tailored pieces, however my reality is I’m in Adanola most of the week, and then am usually travelling on the weekends. Therefore it’s better for me to expand on these items to give me some more flexibility in looks during the week, and stylish comfort on the weekends.
3. Find Out Your Colours
Knowing what colours suit you can completely transform how you shop and dress.
I’ve worked with clients who’ve spent years buying the wrong shades and therefore never feeling confident in the clothes they’re buying, only to discover that once they wear colours that flatter their skin tone, they look healthier, brighter, and more confident.
Your best colours:
Make your eyes pop
Lift your skin tone
Help you glow without makeup
Colour analysis is something I offer as part of my styling sessions, but you can start by noticing what colours you get the most compliments in, or which tones make you feel instantly “off.” When you know your palette, shopping becomes so much easier (and more successful). Another good place to start is by looking at colours you love and gravitate towards, because more often than not, I find my clients are already compelled towards the colours that I would recommend for them, they just hadn’t looked for these colours to add to their wardrobe when shopping.
4. Learn Your Body Shape
Understanding your body shape is about learning how to dress with your natural lines instead of working against them.
So many clients come to me frustrated because they’ve been trying to wear clothes that don’t work with their shape, and as women, we tend to blame our bodies instead of ill-fitting clothes!
Once you understand your proportions and how to balance them, everything changes. You’ll know:
Which cuts flatter your figure
Where to add structure
Which fabrics, necklines or lengths to avoid
The result? You’ll feel more comfortable, more confident, and more you, without constantly second-guessing your outfits.
5. Discover Your Style Personality
If you want the ultimate blueprint for creating a wardrobe that feels authentic and effortless, uncovering your style personality is the final step.
This is something I guide clients through in personal sessions, and it’s one of the most eye-opening parts of the process. Your style personality reveals:
What shapes and details you naturally gravitate towards
What fabrics and finishes reflect your energy
How to express your inner self through clothes in a way that still feels comfortable and wearable
It’s how you move from guessing what works to knowing what suits you, both visually and emotionally.
Your personal style is already within you, you just need the right tools to unlock it. These five steps will help you cut through the noise, understand what actually works for you, and start building a wardrobe that feels good every single day.
If you’re ready to take the guesswork out of style and finally feel confident in your clothes, I’d love to support you with a 1:1 session. I offer colour analysis, body shape guidance, and style personality sessions to help you create your own signature look.
Written by Emma Rostron, a Fashion Blogger and Personal Stylist, dedicated to helping women discover their unique style and empowering them to shine with confidence.
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